CUDDLY EGOMANIAC GETS RESTRAINING ORDER PLACE UPON HIM BY MARYJANE, A 23-YEAR-OLD RAP ARTISTS FROM ATLANTA
Continuing the trend of NBA news being so hilarious that it's difficult to make fun of, the Big Stock Exchange was served with a Big Restraining Order.
Fulton County Superior Court Judge Richard Hicks granted Alexis Miller's request Thursday after reviewing her allegations that the basketball player stalked her, threatened her with bodily harm and made harassing phone calls in which he breathed heavily into the phone before hanging up.
Miller, a 23-year-old hip-hop artist known professionally as Maryjane, claimed she ended an intimate relationship with O'Neal last month. She alleged he then threatened to pay performers $50,000 each not to work with her.
If you were wishing you could read one of O'Neal's threatening text messages, the basketball gods will deliver you no small miracle:
The court affidavit quotes an e-mail from O'Neal as saying, "I dnt no who the [expletive] u think u dealin wit u will neva be heard from one phone call is I gotta make now try me. Sho me."
One phone call and KAZAAM! While I would bet that legions of Maryjane's fans would miss her and her ever-so-creative rapper nickname, not to mention her son, who is hilariously pointed out in the article not to be Shaq's bastard child. I hope this latest escapade will finally dump into the marsh the idea that Shaq is an intelligent human being. Threatening to kill somebody is one thing. Sending an easily traceable text message to a heavily represented rap star is another thing altogether. The Big Aristotle nickname should be removed immediately.Source URL: http://ledger-heath.blogspot.com/2008/08/one-phone-call-shaq-will-have-your-body.html
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