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| Letter "F" for FUCKED I fucked up. It's nothing new that I really struggled with the ending of things with MR.Big. Still to this day, I just can't seem to put it fucking past me. For something that started out as fuck buddies. (Yes, I agreed in the beginning to this) then, I fell in love with him. To only not have him feel the same way. Over time and convo's with good friends I have come to terms with the fact that I was never anything more to him than just the fuck buddy all along, even though my attitude had changed about the situation. You know what that is, a "Fuck Buddy". I'm sure you've seen movies with someone like that in them. Well that was ME. Even though he made me feel like I was something special. (must of been all part of his plan to keep me around,but at arms length.) So why can't I get over it? I should be pissed that he never wanted anything more. Shouldn't I? For someone who was seriously hurt over this, I shouldnt have a problem of letting go. I shouldnt have a problem not contacting him. I shouldnt have a problem with not replying to his texts. So why then am I still struggling over a year later? Can someone please tell me this. |
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