TEAM BLOWS 20-POINT LEAD TO T-MAC-LESS GOON SQUAD; BONZI WELLS PLAYS LIKE IT'S 2001; CELTICS PLAY LIKE IT'S 2006
Yes, the Celtics won tonight, but since they don't lose anymore and I enjoy bitching about losses more than I enjoy heaping praise on them day after day. So, I am going to act as though this was a loss. The Celtics had a huge lead at home against an underperforming, overrated team without their best player. After an outstanding first quarter, the Celtics were basically leaking oil the rest of the way and held on for a narrow victory. Doc had the great strategy of subbing out the player that was playing best on the floor for the C's going perfectly until the fourth quarter when it all broke down for him... shameful.
However, the silver lining was this- it was nice to see the Celtics challenged down the stretch to see if they were capable of pulling it out. Turns out- they are. As the game wore on- they realized one important mismatch was available. Kevin Garnett is a great midrange shooter and the man guarding him has about as much speed as Barbaro after snapping his leg in half- Yao Ming. So, they gave KG the ball and he drained roughly 10 jumpers in a row to win the game for the C's.
Speaking of Yao Ming, everyone talks about how much he has improved, but to me, he will always look like that awkward kid that's half a foot taller than all of his classmates in the sixth grade yet still sucks at basketball because he's so awkward. Yao tramples people at random times, lumbers around like a friggin' Ent, and can't guard ANYBODY. I know he's averaging 20 and 10, but he's 7'6". If you can't get 10 rebounds when you're a half a foot taller than anyone else on the court, you're either retarded or you're Dwayne Schintzius.
On to the superlatives:
MVP: KG- he won the game.
LVP: Leon Powe. He played. I believe it was the end of the third quarter, but correct me if I am wrong. Anyway, Doc put him in for about 10 seconds, if that. Ouch. That doesn't really help your per-game averages incentives in your contract, does it now Leon?
Best surprise: Scott Pollard made quick work today, scoring 10 points in 14 minutes and delivering 6 backbreaking fouls in the process. Scott Pollard- steadily building the reputation for caucasians being clumsy, unathletic, wild, hack-happy yet annoyingly effective basketball players.
Most annoying play of the game: Tony Allen dribbling wildly into three defenders to get stripped and give Bonzi Wells the chance to dunk the hell out of the ball on the other end. Or maybe it was when Rondo somehow lost control of the ball while dribbling it uncontested across halfcourt.
Favorite play of the game: Down the stretch, Rondo's fake behind the back while driving the lane before draining the layup was sweet. The Rockets left the paint as fast as Scottie Pippen leaves a restaurant when it's time to leave a tip.
Most disturbing stat: The Celtics were getting hammered on the glass by the likes of Luis Scola. Disturbing.
Most likely to be deported if I were running things: #54 D. Collins, #71 R. Mott, #22 B. Spooner. The refs. Awful. Yao had to pick up a 2x4 and bludgeon KG over the head for 10 minutes to get a foul called on him, while a Rocket merely falling on his face in the general vicinity of James Posey was a free trip to the line.
Most depressing stat: Perk fouled out with 8 minutes left. While the refs did suck donkey dick, Perk has made it his personal mission to do this every game. We love the man, but that's Pollard's job (which he accomplished, kudos).
Most idiotic coaching decision: The Celtics are losing steam in the second half and their lead is getting chipped away at? Pierce is the only man on the team making shots? Better sit him down, Doc!
UP NEXT: The mighty Memphis Grizzlies, at home!Source URL: https://ledger-heath.blogspot.com/2008/01/celtics-defeat-rockets-iheartceltics.html
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