IT'S WHAT YOU DO BEST, AND YOU'RE GOING TO LOSE TONIGHT; LEON POWE PREPARES TO DROP GIGANTIC DUECE ON TORONTO'S WACKJOB TITLE HOPES
The Celtics will play the team with the most irritating fanbase in the NBA, the Toronto Raptors, this evening. The Raptors are coming off an impressive win against the terrible and depressing Philadelphia 76ers. Oh wait, check that, they lost to the Sixers. Whups!
For their part, the C's will have to put aside a myriad of distractions- Heath Ledger is dead, 'Lil Wayne just got arrested (and has a tattoo on his forehead, apparently), P Diddy is changing his name again (to Sean John), the writer's strike continues to screw over anyone even remotely connected with the entertainment industry, everyone even remotely connected with the financial world is getting hammered by forces no one understands, and worst of all, while we were all distracted,Sasquatch has developed the capability for interstellar travel.
However, this Celtics team is singularly focused on winning, with the exception of Paul Pierce. P2 is focused on winning when he's not yelling at the other team and generally being an ass. Regardless, this team will be ready to roll tonight. The key for the Celtics is shutting down the Raptors' prized offseason acquisition, Jason Kapono. Just kidding- Kapono looks a New Kid on the Block wannabe without the smooth moves of our boy Donnie Wahlberg, who no doubt will be courtside tonight, probably wearing his killer skater hat/wifebeater/blue blazer combo to intimidate those Canadian bitches.
Here's the key:
1) Put Perk on Bosh. Threat neutralized.
2) Guard the perimeter so these goons can't just chuck up threes like Kentucky during the Pitino days.
3) Administer beatdown.
It's that easy. Sic 'em, boys!Source URL: https://ledger-heath.blogspot.com/2008/01/raptors-fans-prepare-to-bitch-about.html
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