BACK TO BORING

CELTICS WIN LAUGHER AGAINST THE TERRIBLE BULLS; GO BACK TO BLOWING PEOPLE OUT AT HOME; I*HEART*CELTICS PLEASED; THIS PICTURE CONFIRMS OUR SUSPICIONS THAT KG IS A FRIGGIN' MANIAC



The Celtics took out their frustration on the hapless, directionless, idiotic Bulls tonight. I have a hard time taking the Bulls seriously, especially since Luol Deng and Ben Gordon passed up ridiculous contracts over the offseason because they think they can get more. Memo to the league: they're not that good. If you need a guy to go 3-10, or 5-13, or something like that, and play mediocre defense and get no rebounds, feel free to pay them $15 million per, but I wouldn't recommend it. I don't know what the hell happened to that team. Hinrich is utterly, absolutely useless. Gordon and Deng run willy-nilly shooting fadeaways under pressure with 20 seconds on the shot clock. They have big clompers who can't rebound, and then you have that spazzoid Nocioni jacking up the most random shots ever caught on tape. To top it off, you have the most uptight coach in the league flipping out on the sideline and making sarcastic comments to the refs. Talk about a quagmire. The Bulls are so awkward to watch. It's especially painful because they are basically the Celtics of the last few years. They have a roster of young players who could be good, but aren't, and they constantly disappoint by making idiotic decisions. To top it off, they have no chemistry and a clueless coach.

This game was out of hand in the second quarter. Then Pierce got his hero moments in the third, James Posey had a great shooting night and one hilarious airball, Tony Allen got some good minutes to atone for the criminal negligence against the Pistons, and all was well in Celticlalaland. As some idiots are saying, championship teams beat the piss out of crappy teams. Congratulations for making the most obvious point in the history of sports. However, beating the piss out of the Bulls is nice and all, but it's troubling when the team has demonstrated a complete lack of direction in crucial moments against teams that are actually good, and smoking one of the worst run teams in the league by 20 points isn't going to help that much. Still, a win is great. Consider the Bulls the Celtics' slumpbuster.

Now, to the superlatives.

MVP: Give this one to Tony for sentimental reasons. Great to see him back attacking the rim and shooting free throws from his shoulder.

LVP: Scot Pollard, who delivered nothing on the stat line in 5 minutes. Oh wait, he dealt out 4 fouls. That's quick work!

Worst Free Throw Shooter: Noah- he drew backboard on one of them. Outstanding!

Best airball: Posey was hitting everything in the first half, then tossed up a three that missed by about two feet to the left and was four feet long. Popeye Jones had better looking airballs, but then again Popeye Jones looks like a monster.

Best move: Perkins' no-fake turn to the middle to get hacked. We keep hearing about all these moves that Perk is working on, but I have yet to see one in action. Who cares? He gets the ball in the post, turns slowly to the middle, doesn't jump, and people are so shocked by his lack of a move and how easily they can block his shot that they panic and foul the ever-living crap out of him. Crazy, but innovative and effective!

Best coaching: Doc Rivers was miked up in the first half, and implored his team to keep scoring baskets and playing defense. It was just in time, because I think I saw Ray Allen say to Rondo, "Let's turn the ball over and miss our assignments!"

Best dribbling: Nocioni's ballhandling skills made Walter McCarty look like Mike Conley in this video... Rondo just had to pick up the ball and cruise in for an uncontested dunk.


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