Tuesday, September 30, 2008

First Look at ESPN's Power Rankings!!!



    FORMER CELTIC RAEF LaFRENTZ MORE DISGUSTED BY STEIN'S IDIOCY THAN HIS WHITE SHIRT, KHAKI CARGO SHORTS, AND FLIP-FLOP ENSEMBLE

    Our favorite gremlin curmudgeon Marc Stein has released his always-controversial power rankings today. These power rankings are known to be shrill, reactionary, and devoid of logic and reason. We shouldn't be surprised that the Celtics are #1, but I am nonetheless. Rumor is that he gets paid by the bad ranking like Dickens used to get paid by the word, and judging by that picture, Stein has spent his summer spending his hundred$$$$ cruising around the Old Navy Factory Store instead of watching the offseason developments in his beloved NBA. The circle is completed- Stein makes bad rankins->gets paid->spends all of his time buying flip flops at Old Navy->ignores NBA reality->makes bad rankings.

    After switching between "Celtics are for realzzz!!!!" and "OMG!!!! The Celtics are falling apart!!!" modes last season like an even more manic version of myself, Stein is firmly ensconced on the Celtics bandwagon today. Why, I have no idea. First things first, the league is better, and more importantly, this Celtics team is significantly worse than last year... on paper and in reality.

    The chemistry on last year's team was strange but effective. Every player had a specific role and the veterans could count on the younger guys to give a max effort every night. This year, Pierce has spent the summer training his ass off partying in Vegas, telling everyone he's the best player in the world, and almost getting arrested for DUI. Last year he got ready by dropping down to his college weight. Big difference.

    As for the front office, instead of drafting talented and smart yet unappreciated college players to fill in when needed (thanks again, Leon Powe... XOXOXOXOXO), the Celtics drafted the ultimate loose cannon in JR Giddens and the disturbingly oft-injured and possibly crazy Bill Walker. Instead of signing cagey veterans known for general caginess, the Celtics signed Darius Miles- best known for being lazy, getting suspended by his team, pimping out his lowriders, and having an injury so devastating that his team could collect insurance money on him. So, we've replaced the guy that symbolized toughness and mental fortitude (Posey) with the guy (Giddens) that got kicked out of Kansas and suspended by New Mexico (which is worse, no one knows), the guy that for many symbolizes the decadent downfall of the NBA (Miles), and a second-rounder (Walker) best known for peeing in a towel. That math doesn't work out in the Celtics' favor, sadly. Lastly, all of KG's intensity has been rumored to have left his body during this classic freakout...

    Don't look for newly signed Patrick O'Bryant to fill in that intensity gap... he'll be filling his face with a carful of popcorn.


    Additionally, Doc Rivers is still a mediocre-to-bad X's and O's coach, Ray Allen's ankles are still a mess, the veterans are a year closer to retirement, and the league as a whole is a lot, lot better. The Eastern Conference hasn't improved a whole lot (Mo Williams, Elton Brand, and Jermaine O'Neal won't transform their respective teams into title contenders, IMHO), the Western Conference is still ridiculous. Keep in mind that the Lakers were without their dominant big man for the end of the season and their entire playoff run. While the Celtics won it all last year in glorious fashion, should we really expect this team to match the intensity of last year, when the whole team was built on the premise of winning one title?

    If the offseason is any indication, neither the Celtics' roster or the front office has the kind of fire in the belly that propelled them to their 17th... but here's hoping that I am wrong. Which I am, consistently. So, there's that.

    Go C's!!Source URL: http://ledger-heath.blogspot.com/2008/09/first-look-at-espn-power-rankings.html
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