Monday, June 1, 2009

Heidi Montag wants to eat kangaroo penis. Her words.

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    Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are competing in NBC's I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here! and while talking to People, Heidi wants the world to know she's willing to eat a kangaroo penis. Even though nobody really asked her to:

    "I want to prove to myself that I can eat kangaroo penis or whatever it is they'll make me eat. I want to know for myself that I can do these challenges and that I'm as tough as anyone in the world," she says. "I'm not afraid of anything. [But] the biggest competitor is going to be Spencer. He takes no prisoners. I'm worried he'll push me over a cliff to get first place."

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    Heidi's obvious lack of cock at home aside, E! News reports Heidi and Spencer are constantly bitching about the "grueling" conditions on set and have already threatened to quit the show before the first episode premieres tonight:

    "They wanted to be treated like stars," a high-level source on the series tells E! News' Ryan Seacrest. "[Spencer] literally thought he and Heidi were staying in a Four Seasons, working out and getting a tan."
    The two refused to eat the same food as the rest of the cast, and complained about being teamed with low-wattage stars, among them former model/reality-show queen Janice Dickinson, actors Stephen Baldwin and Lou Diamond Phillips, former NBA star John Salley and American Idol castoff Sanjaya Malakar. An NBC exec had to coax the newlyweds to remain on board.
    "I wish they got some real celebrities like K-Fed," groused Montag, per the network insider.

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    Just to show how warped Heidi and Spencer's worldviews are, when given the opportunity to name a "real" celebrity her immediate thought was Kevin Federline. At least we know how high they're aiming, and that a quiet, obese existence is in the near future. -- Those are the most comforting words I've ever typed. (Not counting "vagina like a beanbag chair.")


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