CELTICS VS. PISTONS

GHOST OF DARKO WEARING A CLOWN WIG CONTINUES TO HAUNT TEAM FROM WORST CITY IN AMERICA... PISTONS COULD HAVE DRAFTED PERKINS BUT INSTEAD TOOK A SKINNY-ASS DO-NOTHING AND PERK SWORE TO ONE DAY DESTROY THE FRANCHISE THAT SPURNED HIM

The Celtics will face off against the reigning douchebags in the Eastern Conference, the Detroit Pistons, Wednesday night. Pistons fans are putting off their usual nightly activity- robbing people at knifepoint- just to watch the game. Unfortunately for them, the game will be played in Boston so they can't throw stuff at the players and embarrass the living hell out of the league again.

While the Celtics will be without newly signed Sam Cassell, it's all even because the Pistons probably won't suit up newly exhumed Theo Ratliff. The fact that Theo Ratliff still plays basketball was news to many, but remember that this is the team that took some weirdo from Europe over Melo, Chris Bosh, Dwayne Wade, and about 35 other much better players.... then tried to argue that it was a good move even when they traded him for Kelvin Cato. The Kelvin Cato era was slightly less productive than the Darko era- he played in 4 games for the Pistons. But, the gaping whole he left behind has been filled by Theo Ratliff, who has been healthy enough this season to play in 20% of his team's games this year, which means he is the healthiest he has been since Allen Iverson first put the cornrows in. So, look out, world! Some would say that Ratliff is a risk because his spinal column is held together with scotch tape, Elmer's glue, and thumb tacks, but then again, the Pistons had the wisdom and foresight to sign Nazr Mohammed to a five year deal so you just have to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Here's my prediction for this game: Rondo plays like a maniac because he knows that no matter what anyone tells Shira Springer or those pansies at Celticsblog- Sam Cassell is gunning for his job. Chauncey's enormous 85-pound head is going to be spinning as Rondo blows by him time after time. This game is going to have playoff intensity, and I see the Celtics pulling it out in a close one. The Pistons are a very good team that plays every high-level opponent very tough, so the C's have to stay vigilant right until the final horn. Oh, and Doc? If the Pistons hold for the last shot, HAVE SOMEBODY GUARD RIP HAMILTON!!! That still pisses me off. Just thinking of that debacle makes me inclined to change my prediction

CELTICS 94, PISTONS 88



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