Sure, we'll be focused on the Celtics playing in the Eastern Conference Finals. But, as a way of cutting through the stress.... how about we look at some posts we did around this time last year?
The day of the draft we were pretty tepid about our chances... even remarking at the end that Danny Ainge and Doc Rivers "would never lead us to the promised land." Hm... the more things change the more they stay the same...... NO!!!!!!! THIS YEAR IS THE YEAR!!!!
THE LOTTERY IS TONIGHT!!
TIME FOR I*HEART*CELTICS TO PLAY THE ODDS
The Celtics have a 38% chance of landing a top-2 pick in the Draft Lottery today. Celtics fans are fired up, but we here at I*Heart*Celtics are both fired up and incredibly nervous. A whole season wasted for odds of nabbing a player are slightly better than winning Powerball but slightly worse than the chances Ben Wallace will hit a free throw.
To put things in perspective...
99.81% - Chance Vin Baker is completely shitfaced right now.
99.8% - Chance Chris Herren has an ounce of heroin within arms' reach as you read this sentence.
99.7% - Chance I*Heart*Celtics superstar Nic is wearing capri pants and watching Triple H highlights from the late 90's right now.
95% - Percentage of Celtics cheerleaders Delonte's tried to seduce with the baby-makin' melodies of R. kelly's "sex planet" and the aphrodisiacal aroma of a Popeye's family bucket.
93.3% - Percentage of Sebastian Telfair's assists-per-game to gun-related-incident ratio.
88.6% - Larry Bird's career free-throw percentage.
88.5% - Brian Scalabrine's career body fat percentage.
82.1% - Percentage of Antoine Walker's shots that are ill-advised.
80.1% - Winning percentage of Harvard Athletic Association championship-winning "Michigan" squad in 1996. Yes, this team did feature Nic, Chap, Sullivan, and even BP.
80.1% - Percentage of "Michigan" games both Nic and Chap suited up that season.
62.2% - Percentage of Sullivan's body covered with floor burns during basketball season.
62.1% - Percentage of Delote's body covered with flesh wounds after a night out on the town with his girlfriend.
58.7% - The Celtic franchise's winning percentage in their glorious 60 years in existence.
46.6% - Rick Pitino's career winning percentage as an NBA head coach.
43% - Percentage of child support paid by former Celtic Greg Minor.
42.2% - Celtics' RPI this season, ranking them 30th out of 30 teams. (RPI - Relative Percent Index; the formula is 25% team winning percentage, 50% opponents's average winning percentage, and 25% opponents's opponents's average winning percentage. -Basketball-Reference.com)
42% - Ben Wallace's career free throw shooting percentage.
41.4% - Doc Rivers' winning percentage as coach of the Boston Celtics.
39.4% - Antoine Walker's shooting percentage from the field in 2001-2002.
38% - Celtics' chances of landing Oden or Durant this year.
36.4% - Doc Rivers' career playoff coaching winning percentage.
35% - BP's score on a Geometry test in 8th grade, setting a class record.
34.4% - The Celtics' three point shooting percentage in their Eastern Conference Finals season of 2001-2002.
33% - Percentage of "N"s in Kevinn Pinkney's first name.
32.7% - Percentage of Celtics team salary used for Theo Ratliff, Luke Jackson, Brian Grant, and Vin Baker.
29.3% - The Celtics' winning percentage in 2006-2007.
29.3% - M.L. Carr's coaching record in two glorious seasons.
28.1% - Percentage of time Michael Jordan wasn't cheating on his wife during their marriage.
28% - Bruce Bowen's shooting percentage for the Celtics in 1998-1999.
18.3% - The Celtics' winning percentage in 1996-1997.
11.9% - Average percentage of the crowd that stays in the club when Tony Allen shows up.
8.8% - Chances that of that Vegas oddsmakers gave that a Celtics player would wear a Scooby-Doo jersey on the sidelines during a playoff game. Then Joe Forte came along.
7.9% - Chance I*Heart*Celtics superstar Chap has showered within the last 72 hours.
3% - Chance Kevin Pittsnogle can read all the way through One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish without asking for a definition.
1.86% - Chance Doc Rivers would have received a contract extension if he was coaching any other team... in the world.
1.3% - Chance that huge Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, and frikkin' WILL SMITH fan Greg Oden is 19 years old.
1.1% - Percentage of his life that the Kandi Man isn't baked out of his mind.
0.9% - Chance Dwayne Schintzius' modelling career is going well.
2.21 x 10-3% - Percentage of team minutes contributed by Theo Ratliff, Luke Jackson, Brian Grant, and Vin Baker this season. (If you're wondering, BP actually did that math- 44/19857, according to Basketball-Reference.com. Also, if you're wondering, that's roughly $475,917.05 per minute.)
0% - Chance I*Heart*Celtics believes Doc Rivers and Danny Ainge will lead the Celtics to the promised land, regardless how the lottery goes this evening.
______________________________________________________
Then, the realization that we would be getting the fifth pick....
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Wow, remember how much that sucked? Then, we looked at the notable #5 picks from years past, and whattaya know, Ray Allen made our "Could Be Hall of Famers-Maybe" list! Also worth noting is that KG was a #5 pick as well. Was it meant to be!?!?
______________________________________________________
So, we all know by know that the Celtics got completely hosed with the #5 pick... or did they? I took a look at the #5 picks over the years, and the results may surprise you. For example, Dwayne Wade and Charles Barkley might not put each other in their five, but they were both drafted fifth. Without further ado, here we go.
FIRST TEAM (Hall of Famers/Future Hall of Famers)
Dwayne Wade (2003)
Walt Frazier (1967)
Charles Barkley (1984)
Scottie Pippen (1987)
Kevin Garnett (1995)
SECOND TEAM (Could-Be Hall of Famers, maybe)
Sidney Moncrief (1979)
Mitch Richmond (1988)
Vince Carter (1998)
Ray Allen (1996)
THIRD TEAM (Very Good Players)
Darryl Dawkins (1975)
Steve Smith (1991)
Kendall Gill (1990)
Jason Richardson (2001)
Mike Miller (2000)
FOURTH TEAM (Decent Role Players)
Tony Battie (1997)
Shelden Williams (2006)
Raymond Felton (2005)
Devin Harris (2004)
Purvis Short (1978)
Walter Davis (1977)
The All Funny Name Team
Tom Thacker (1963) (sounds like a term for masterbation, i.e. "He's sort of a loser, he just hangs out with Tom Thacker all day, if you know what I mean.")
Wayne Yates (1961) (probably received 10,012 wedgies for the name alone)
Dick "Skull" Barnett (1959) (cool nickname)
LaPhonso Ellis (1992) (only LaPhonso I've ever heard of)
Mahdi Abdul-Rahman, formerly Walter Hazzard (1964) (sweet name change)
The Um... Ok, Whatever Team
Kenny Walker (1986)
Sidney Green (1983)
LaSalle Thompson (1982)
Danny Vranes (1981)
Wally Walker (1976)
James Ray (1980)
The Infamous Team
Isaiah Rider (1993) (crime)
Juwan Howard (1994) (scandal, being a dick)
Kermit Washington (1973) (fracturing Rudy T's face)
J.R. Reid (1989) (mediocre manwhore of the NBA)
The All BP-Never-Heard-of-Them Team
Freddie Boyd (1975)
Bobby Jones (1974)
George Trapp (1971)
Sam Lacey (1970)
Larry Cannon (1969)
Jack Marin (1966)
Dave Stallworth (1965)
Len Chappell (1962)
Guy Rodgers (1958)
The Dear-God-the-Celtics-Are-Friggin-SCREWED Team
Don Smith (1968) (doesn't even have a page on Basketball-Reference.com!!!)
Nikoloz Tskitishvili (2002) (mutant)
Jonathan Bender (1999) (broken)
Lee Shaffer (1960) (three seasons of crappiness)
Joe Koncak (1985) (guaranteed to suck just from the name alone)
In conclusion and in summary, the Celtics could potentially draft a Hall of Famer. The trend appears to be that the fifth pick is usually used for a well-regarded, solid guard. The number of swing players taken with the fifth pick is staggering. It's rare to nab a quality big, which is what the Celtics are probably looking to do.
The fifth pick is not where the Celtics would like to be, but I would match that first team against pretty much any other group of same-number picks, including #1's. This is supposed to be a very deep draft, so who knows, perhaps the C's will find the next Charles Barkley... or the first age-unknown skinny Chinese dude shrouded in mystery.
______________________________________________
Thank the basketball gods we don't have to go through that again.... GO CELTS.Source URL: http://ledger-heath.blogspot.com/2008/05/draft-lottery-is-tonight.html
Visit ledger heath for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection
The day of the draft we were pretty tepid about our chances... even remarking at the end that Danny Ainge and Doc Rivers "would never lead us to the promised land." Hm... the more things change the more they stay the same...... NO!!!!!!! THIS YEAR IS THE YEAR!!!!
THE LOTTERY IS TONIGHT!!TIME FOR I*HEART*CELTICS TO PLAY THE ODDS
To put things in perspective...
99.81% - Chance Vin Baker is completely shitfaced right now.
99.8% - Chance Chris Herren has an ounce of heroin within arms' reach as you read this sentence.
99.7% - Chance I*Heart*Celtics superstar Nic is wearing capri pants and watching Triple H highlights from the late 90's right now.
95% - Percentage of Celtics cheerleaders Delonte's tried to seduce with the baby-makin' melodies of R. kelly's "sex planet" and the aphrodisiacal aroma of a Popeye's family bucket.
93.3% - Percentage of Sebastian Telfair's assists-per-game to gun-related-incident ratio.
88.6% - Larry Bird's career free-throw percentage.
88.5% - Brian Scalabrine's career body fat percentage.
82.1% - Percentage of Antoine Walker's shots that are ill-advised.
80.1% - Winning percentage of Harvard Athletic Association championship-winning "Michigan" squad in 1996. Yes, this team did feature Nic, Chap, Sullivan, and even BP.
80.1% - Percentage of "Michigan" games both Nic and Chap suited up that season.
62.2% - Percentage of Sullivan's body covered with floor burns during basketball season.
62.1% - Percentage of Delote's body covered with flesh wounds after a night out on the town with his girlfriend.
58.7% - The Celtic franchise's winning percentage in their glorious 60 years in existence.
46.6% - Rick Pitino's career winning percentage as an NBA head coach.
43% - Percentage of child support paid by former Celtic Greg Minor.
42.2% - Celtics' RPI this season, ranking them 30th out of 30 teams. (RPI - Relative Percent Index; the formula is 25% team winning percentage, 50% opponents's average winning percentage, and 25% opponents's opponents's average winning percentage. -Basketball-Reference.com)
42% - Ben Wallace's career free throw shooting percentage.
41.4% - Doc Rivers' winning percentage as coach of the Boston Celtics.
39.4% - Antoine Walker's shooting percentage from the field in 2001-2002.
38% - Celtics' chances of landing Oden or Durant this year.
36.4% - Doc Rivers' career playoff coaching winning percentage.
35% - BP's score on a Geometry test in 8th grade, setting a class record.
34.4% - The Celtics' three point shooting percentage in their Eastern Conference Finals season of 2001-2002.
33% - Percentage of "N"s in Kevinn Pinkney's first name.
32.7% - Percentage of Celtics team salary used for Theo Ratliff, Luke Jackson, Brian Grant, and Vin Baker.
29.3% - The Celtics' winning percentage in 2006-2007.
29.3% - M.L. Carr's coaching record in two glorious seasons.
28.1% - Percentage of time Michael Jordan wasn't cheating on his wife during their marriage.
28% - Bruce Bowen's shooting percentage for the Celtics in 1998-1999.
18.3% - The Celtics' winning percentage in 1996-1997.
11.9% - Average percentage of the crowd that stays in the club when Tony Allen shows up.
8.8% - Chances that of that Vegas oddsmakers gave that a Celtics player would wear a Scooby-Doo jersey on the sidelines during a playoff game. Then Joe Forte came along.
7.9% - Chance I*Heart*Celtics superstar Chap has showered within the last 72 hours.
3% - Chance Kevin Pittsnogle can read all the way through One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish without asking for a definition.
1.86% - Chance Doc Rivers would have received a contract extension if he was coaching any other team... in the world.
1.3% - Chance that huge Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, and frikkin' WILL SMITH fan Greg Oden is 19 years old.
1.1% - Percentage of his life that the Kandi Man isn't baked out of his mind.
0.9% - Chance Dwayne Schintzius' modelling career is going well.
2.21 x 10-3% - Percentage of team minutes contributed by Theo Ratliff, Luke Jackson, Brian Grant, and Vin Baker this season. (If you're wondering, BP actually did that math- 44/19857, according to Basketball-Reference.com. Also, if you're wondering, that's roughly $475,917.05 per minute.)
0% - Chance I*Heart*Celtics believes Doc Rivers and Danny Ainge will lead the Celtics to the promised land, regardless how the lottery goes this evening.
______________________________________________________
Then, the realization that we would be getting the fifth pick....
______________________________________________________
DAMMITALLTOHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TANKING THE ENTIRE SEASON WORKS SLIGHTLY WORSE THIS TIME AS IT DID DURING THE M.L. ERA;
CELTICS ARE SCREWED OVER;
LAND FIFTH PICK IN A TWO-MAN DRAFT;
EVERYONE'S PISSED
TANKING THE ENTIRE SEASON WORKS SLIGHTLY WORSE THIS TIME AS IT DID DURING THE M.L. ERA;
CELTICS ARE SCREWED OVER;
LAND FIFTH PICK IN A TWO-MAN DRAFT;
EVERYONE'S PISSED
______________________________________________________
Wow, remember how much that sucked? Then, we looked at the notable #5 picks from years past, and whattaya know, Ray Allen made our "Could Be Hall of Famers-Maybe" list! Also worth noting is that KG was a #5 pick as well. Was it meant to be!?!?
______________________________________________________
So, we all know by know that the Celtics got completely hosed with the #5 pick... or did they? I took a look at the #5 picks over the years, and the results may surprise you. For example, Dwayne Wade and Charles Barkley might not put each other in their five, but they were both drafted fifth. Without further ado, here we go.
FIRST TEAM (Hall of Famers/Future Hall of Famers)
Dwayne Wade (2003)
Walt Frazier (1967)
Charles Barkley (1984)
Scottie Pippen (1987)
Kevin Garnett (1995)
SECOND TEAM (Could-Be Hall of Famers, maybe)
Sidney Moncrief (1979)
Mitch Richmond (1988)
Vince Carter (1998)
Ray Allen (1996)
THIRD TEAM (Very Good Players)
Darryl Dawkins (1975)
Steve Smith (1991)
Kendall Gill (1990)
Jason Richardson (2001)
Mike Miller (2000)
FOURTH TEAM (Decent Role Players)
Tony Battie (1997)
Shelden Williams (2006)
Raymond Felton (2005)
Devin Harris (2004)
Purvis Short (1978)
Walter Davis (1977)
The All Funny Name Team
Tom Thacker (1963) (sounds like a term for masterbation, i.e. "He's sort of a loser, he just hangs out with Tom Thacker all day, if you know what I mean.")
Wayne Yates (1961) (probably received 10,012 wedgies for the name alone)
Dick "Skull" Barnett (1959) (cool nickname)
LaPhonso Ellis (1992) (only LaPhonso I've ever heard of)
Mahdi Abdul-Rahman, formerly Walter Hazzard (1964) (sweet name change)
The Um... Ok, Whatever Team
Kenny Walker (1986)
Sidney Green (1983)
LaSalle Thompson (1982)
Danny Vranes (1981)
Wally Walker (1976)
James Ray (1980)
The Infamous Team
Isaiah Rider (1993) (crime)
Juwan Howard (1994) (scandal, being a dick)
Kermit Washington (1973) (fracturing Rudy T's face)
J.R. Reid (1989) (mediocre manwhore of the NBA)
The All BP-Never-Heard-of-Them Team
Freddie Boyd (1975)
Bobby Jones (1974)
George Trapp (1971)
Sam Lacey (1970)
Larry Cannon (1969)
Jack Marin (1966)
Dave Stallworth (1965)
Len Chappell (1962)
Guy Rodgers (1958)
The Dear-God-the-Celtics-Are-Friggin-SCREWED Team
Don Smith (1968) (doesn't even have a page on Basketball-Reference.com!!!)
Nikoloz Tskitishvili (2002) (mutant)
Jonathan Bender (1999) (broken)
Lee Shaffer (1960) (three seasons of crappiness)
Joe Koncak (1985) (guaranteed to suck just from the name alone)
In conclusion and in summary, the Celtics could potentially draft a Hall of Famer. The trend appears to be that the fifth pick is usually used for a well-regarded, solid guard. The number of swing players taken with the fifth pick is staggering. It's rare to nab a quality big, which is what the Celtics are probably looking to do.
The fifth pick is not where the Celtics would like to be, but I would match that first team against pretty much any other group of same-number picks, including #1's. This is supposed to be a very deep draft, so who knows, perhaps the C's will find the next Charles Barkley... or the first age-unknown skinny Chinese dude shrouded in mystery.
______________________________________________
Thank the basketball gods we don't have to go through that again.... GO CELTS.Source URL: http://ledger-heath.blogspot.com/2008/05/draft-lottery-is-tonight.html
Visit ledger heath for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection
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