Here it is, folks, the website you've all been waiting for, tyrusthomas24.com. Yes, the man who could teach a college course on being a douche has hired some web wizards to fix him up with a kickass website to highlight what a good guy he is. So, go there. Check it out. Turn the speakers up. You won't be disappointed!
As expected, the ever-poignant "see the struggle in the symbolic 'struggle' tattoos my delinquent cousin gave me when I was 15 set to dramatic piano music" shot begins the opening sequence. But hark? What is that I hear in the distance? Is that the 'NBA on NBC' theme song played by a third grader on a MIDI keyboard set to a hip-hop beat straight out of Kurtis Blow's recycle bin? Is that some dude slurring/rhyming "riding the bench" with "riding the bench"? Is that same rapper rhyming "he can jump out the gym/I ain't seen to many players jump higher than him"?
Yes, folks, it's true- move aside K.O.B.E. - Tyrus Thomas has a theme song, and it's even better than you could have imagined. I haven't seen an attempt to be thug backfire this badly since Vanilla Ice grew white guy dreads and released "Mind Blowin'." Is there anything less gangsta than an NBC theme song???? The wearing-a-suit-while-scowling-and-holding-a-rim is so laughably unconvincing that you know, as a fact, that there isn't one single person in his posse that isn't kissing his ass and stealing his money. It would be a shame if Thomas was any less of an asshole, but he isn't, and it isn't. Now, I recommend you watch this video over and over again while listening to his theme music! Da da da da duh DAA da DAA!!
Source URL: http://ledger-heath.blogspot.com/2007/09/tyrus-thomas-official-webpage.html
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