I am not one of those dudes that has a sticker of Calvin pissing on a Chevy logo in the back of my car, but these Howie Long commercial spots that are all over every televised basketball game are driving me to pee on Chevy trucks myself. Who needs Calvin? Who does this Howie Long troglodyte think he is, accosting strangers in parking lots and insulting their trucks?
Here's the first one. Is Howie Long really in the position to be insulting other people's man-steps?
Here's a hardworking dude, using a convenient step on the back of his pickup, and here comes Howie Long with his flat top and sarcastic attitude. What's wrong with having a man-step? You can conveniently walk into your truck bed? What's the alternative, taking a running start and doing your best Edwin Moses imitation? Crawling into it like you're storming the beach and crawling for cover at Normandy? What's wrong with a step? Something about it isn't manly, according the Minister of Manliness, Howie Long. "Hey, you left your man-step down!" To which this dude should have responded with a "f*** you" and a hail of gunfire.
Howie certainly looks tough coming out of nowhere to dis a hardworking yet schlubby white guy with a bad beard. I wonder if he'd have the same confidence making fun of Stephen Jackson's man-step. Jack has opened fire on one-armed men for less than that.
Then there's the commercial where Howie walks up to a guy in the parking lot and demands to know if this guy's new truck is good on gas. First of all- what the hell? When the guy chickens out and his voice quivers a "19 highway" - Howie gives a snide remark as he steps into his Chevy Silverado. What an asshole. I am scraping the recesses of my brain to think of an actual sociopath I know that would engage is such hostile behavior. Who wants to buy something from this guy? And don't these advertisers know that when you dis the competition, you end up looking worse than them? Again, I ask of an advertiser- who is the target demographic here? Are there lots of March Madness fans that gleefully watch a windbag with a white man flattop harassing strangers about their trucks in random parking lots?
Thankfully, there's the payoff. Howie with a "big girl" pointing at his undoubtedly very manly wee wee. Well executed. You've successfully transformed your pitchman into a creepy kid-toucher.
Way to go Chevy, employ a pedophilic wiseass with a terrible haircut to troll parking lots, sarcastically mocking the much more appealing human beings driving your competition. Awesome strategy. Thank goodness you didn't leave your man-step down, or you'd really look stupid.Source URL: http://ledger-heath.blogspot.com/2009/03/howie-long-is-colossal-douchebag.html
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Here's the first one. Is Howie Long really in the position to be insulting other people's man-steps?
Here's a hardworking dude, using a convenient step on the back of his pickup, and here comes Howie Long with his flat top and sarcastic attitude. What's wrong with having a man-step? You can conveniently walk into your truck bed? What's the alternative, taking a running start and doing your best Edwin Moses imitation? Crawling into it like you're storming the beach and crawling for cover at Normandy? What's wrong with a step? Something about it isn't manly, according the Minister of Manliness, Howie Long. "Hey, you left your man-step down!" To which this dude should have responded with a "f*** you" and a hail of gunfire.
Howie certainly looks tough coming out of nowhere to dis a hardworking yet schlubby white guy with a bad beard. I wonder if he'd have the same confidence making fun of Stephen Jackson's man-step. Jack has opened fire on one-armed men for less than that.
Then there's the commercial where Howie walks up to a guy in the parking lot and demands to know if this guy's new truck is good on gas. First of all- what the hell? When the guy chickens out and his voice quivers a "19 highway" - Howie gives a snide remark as he steps into his Chevy Silverado. What an asshole. I am scraping the recesses of my brain to think of an actual sociopath I know that would engage is such hostile behavior. Who wants to buy something from this guy? And don't these advertisers know that when you dis the competition, you end up looking worse than them? Again, I ask of an advertiser- who is the target demographic here? Are there lots of March Madness fans that gleefully watch a windbag with a white man flattop harassing strangers about their trucks in random parking lots?
Thankfully, there's the payoff. Howie with a "big girl" pointing at his undoubtedly very manly wee wee. Well executed. You've successfully transformed your pitchman into a creepy kid-toucher.
Way to go Chevy, employ a pedophilic wiseass with a terrible haircut to troll parking lots, sarcastically mocking the much more appealing human beings driving your competition. Awesome strategy. Thank goodness you didn't leave your man-step down, or you'd really look stupid.Source URL: http://ledger-heath.blogspot.com/2009/03/howie-long-is-colossal-douchebag.html
Visit ledger heath for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection
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