I Want Delonte Back

Watching Stephon get stripped at halfcourt by former Celtics Summer Leaguer Will Bynum made me very nostalgic for Delonte. Then I read this interview, I gazed longingly out of my window, "Somewhere Out There" started playing, and a single tear rolled down my cheek. "Dr. Redbush" has all the answers:

Question: Dr. Redbush: I'm going to Europe in a couple weeks with my cousins and I wanted to see if you had any suggestions on how to attract some fine foreign ladies. I can't dance and I'm broke. Please give me your expert advice on this difficult issue.

First Name: Pat
City: University Heights
State: OH

Answer: Well, it’s never been the money. The money don’t matter. The money don’t make you. You can have all the money in the world, but if you’re lame, you’ll just be lame with money.

As far as the dancing goes – you’re going to have to work on that, brother. Females watch you dance and, subconsciously, they’re thinking about the way you move a little later on that night. So you’ve got to learn the two-step. Learn the two-step and stick with it. You can change it up for every song. You can speed it up or slow it down, but stick with the same two-step. That’s something that translates in any country.

And if you’re broke, one more thing – besides working on your two-step, which is important – you got to work on your game and your “mouthpiece.” If your mouthpiece is strong, she’ll give you some money.

Amen. We miss you, Delonte.