Monday, August 27, 2007

Meet the Matador!


    CELTICS SIGN JAMES POSEY, A RELIABLE DEFENSIVE-MINDED VETERAN SIXTH MAN EVERY NIGHT EXCEPT WHEN HE PLAYS THE BULLS, WHEN HE TRANSFORMS INTO A LUOL DENG-TACKLING, KIRK HINRICH-PLOWING CHEAP-SHOT ARTIST; I*HEART*CELTICS TOTALLY STOKED!!!

    The Celtics made another great move over the weekend, signing James Posey to a two-year, $7 million contract. Posey is a perfect fit for the Celtics- a veteran that can play great defense and doesn't take sh!t from anybody. While we enjoyed Scalabrine playing tough guy last year as much as anybody, you can't have a dough boy playing grabass in the paint as your enforcer if you want to be taken seriously. Posey has delivered some of the most outrageous and hilarious flagrant fouls in recent memory... at times out-Bowening Bruce Bowen. He has been especially prolific against the Chicago Bulls, hence the nickname, "the Matador". Remember how much you enjoyed Tyrus Thomas in a facemask? Remember how much you wanted Luol Deng to get tackled when he was playing for Duke? Still angry at Kirk Hinrich because he stole Bob Dylan's face? You can thank James Posey for laying the smack down on all those bitches.

    Posey does almost everything well. He can shoot, he can defend, he can rebound, and he can pass the ball. The only thing he doesn't do well is drive under the influence or make a plausible alibi. Check this out- after being pulled over for stopping in the middle of a two-lane road to chit-chat with pedestrians and other motorists, and was pulled out of the car by the cops.

    Once out of the car, Posey displayed "bloodshot eyes, slurred speech, and
    an odor of an alcoholic beverage on his breath," the police report said. The
    player also was unsteady on his feet and swayed while standing, police said.


    Posey's excuse?

    "Please know that I was neither intoxicated nor was I driving at the time," Posey said. "However, out of respect to the police, and to the legal process which must follow, it would be inappropriate for me to comment further at this moment."


    Nice! Hopefully, Posey will follow the trail of sixth-man greatness paved by John Havlicek and not the trail of driving-under-the-influence incompetence paved by Vin Baker and Chris Herren.

    Welcome to Boston, James! Now, don't f*ck it up. You're making more than $3 million a year, so HIRE A F*CKING TAXI, DOUCHEBAG!Source URL: http://ledger-heath.blogspot.com/2007/08/meet-matador.html
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