Wednesday, November 7, 2007

CELTICS DESTROY BUTT NUGGETS


    In a game that would have been boring if it wasn't so impressive and sadistically hilarious, the Celtics welcomed the Nuggets into their home and then metaphorically punched them in the balls, stole their wallets, and made out with all of their sisters. The Celtics shot 72% in the first half. A couple minutes into the second quarter and the Celtics were winning 47-22. Najera was picking up technical fouls, Iverson was wishing he was still in Philly, Carmelo looked like he'd rather be throwing Olympics medals into lakes, George Karl looked like he needed a couple cases of antacids delivered to the locker room for halftime, and old nemesis Kenyon Martin was back to his old prison-yard-douchebag self by picking up foul after foul all while wearing a facial expression that suggested his IQ was lower than his rebounds per game average.

    How about those Nuggets!! They are loaded with big names, bigger contracts, high expectations, and a volatile high profile coach... and yet they still start a guy named Linas. The players look like they are barely tolerating each other right now. (I can't blame them, just looking at JR Smith makes me irritated.) The Nuggets have a loooong road ahead of them, and my guess is that Nene will stop at every Chuck-O-Rama along the way.

    But back to the Celtics, though- if they played like this every night they would be a lock for the title. They got the ball to the right guy at the right time all night long, they protected the rim, and they were all over the boards. The Celtics swarm to the ball once it hits the rim, I love it. Then the bench players come in and basically spazz around like hyperactive third graders. We were worried that a good Celtics team wouldn't be very funny, and we have nothing to worry about. Any team where Scalabrine STRUTS is hilarious. The only bad thing was James Posey leaving with an injury- I didn't see it happen and since I want Tony Allen to get his minutes anyway I haven't really looked into it since. Oh well!

    Quick superlatives...

    Fattest: Nene
    Most overpaid: Nene
    Most bug-eyed: Marcus Camby
    Saddest to Watch: Allen Iverson
    Biggest Waste of Space: JR Smith
    Least Attractive on the Inside and the Outside: Kenyon Martin
    BP's Mancrush of the Season Thus Far: Ray Allen
    Most Nimble Fat Man: Glen Davis
    Luckiest Professional: Doc Rivers
    Unluckiest Professional: Allen Iverson
    Best Prediction: Nic predicted a 124-83 victory. Way to go, you pasty redheaded goon.

    UP NEXT!!!
    Atlanta Hawks at home on Friday. People say the Hawks are good. I say the Celtics are better.Source URL: http://ledger-heath.blogspot.com/2007/11/celtics-destroy-butt-nuggets.html
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